10 most annoying things about being a vampire’s girlfriend

This is hilarious. From NPR:

1. Never sleeping means spending extensive time buying coffins on eBay and updating Facebook status with “Sooooooo bored and thirsty.” (“Dracula and 609 others like this.”)

2. Constantly tries to win arguments with, “When you’re six hundred years old, you’ll understand.”

3. Insists that your blood tastes fine, but cannot stop talking about taste of previous girlfriend’s blood as “not really better, but different.”

4. Devouring the unwary even less fun at family reunions than Balderdash.

5. Red-eye in every picture.

6. Companion with sparkling, marble-like skin likely to overshadow “bling” at prom and wedding.

7. Because of mind-reading ability, wins every game of Battleship and then dances around bragging about it.

8. Friends who are “animal-only” vampires total downers; make vegans look like bacon-gobbling hedonists.

9. Won’t stay and talk over problems; stomps off to pout in a tree.

10. Moody. Really, really, really moody. Poet moody. Drummer moody.

See the rest of the article here.

What other “downers” to being a vampire’s girlfriend can you think of? Share with us in the comments!


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